You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
