I'm really into asian looking animals
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
