he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize