i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
