She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
