i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
