I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
