I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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