You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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