I'm jealous of your bromance
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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