it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
