Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
