Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
