at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
