when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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