wat bout pragnant strippers??
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
