I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
FUCK WHALES
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
