we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize