does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
