What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize