I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
