I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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