I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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