We should be called the Road Head Warriors
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
