Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
