I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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