he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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