cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
