u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
