Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize