No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
