that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
