After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
