I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
