lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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