the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
