Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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