im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
