wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
