I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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