i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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