I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
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Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
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who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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