it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
