I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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