We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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