...so i touched it.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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