I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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