i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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