ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Randomize
