this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
