Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
