wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
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