I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
