Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize