Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
