508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
