the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
