Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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