I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
