Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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