I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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