Even the bartender felt bad for me
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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