We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
