ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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