do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just gift wrapped bread.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
