Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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