thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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