dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
